a sapphire cloak is burnt
a golden ring is born
a zephyr touching every stone
seated on a pew gaping
on serene sward bathing
where the virescent turf is lain
stood a gray-haired doyen
on his hands a veiled chain
yoked to a sumptuous paramour in restrain
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Zero Hour
Looking back on years when I wandered to give meaning to my existence makes me realize how much of life I was not able to live the way it should.
For five years, I suffered a headache for the one question I cannot answer and there was never a night I did not cry to sleep. In my mind, I cursed my Maker and even made a declaration that he does not exist. Spent long hours in the net searching for the meaning of life, bought books that could somehow hand me an explanation, talked to strangers whom I thought could share the same sentiments, and even explored the possibility of finding the answer in the afterlife, so "What if I take my life?" Yes, I saw beautiful things surrounded me but I thought they were just lies. I felt I was in a banquet of lies. I used to believe that "beauty is an illusion". "Yes, they were good. But do they matter? I don't even know why they exist."
I masked my desperation with neglect. I faked my sadness with preoccupation. It was exhausting to chase the wind, you know.
No friend has ever heard this agony. But I was wrong.
From total darkness a thick voice had to speak, "Where are you?"
And things changed. It was as if I am brought into the open from an empty closet.
I responded with a question to myself, "Where am I?" --- an epiphany that turned my life upside down. Just when my world was about to crush, I realized that being lost is not that I do not know where I am heading; being lost is not knowing where I am standing.
"I am standing in a blind alley before the Creator of all things seen and unseen. I am standing before the Love I cursed but ran after me. I am standing before the Breath who gave me this life. I am standing before the Answer and the Truth. I am standing before a Knight who came for rescue to offer me a clothing for my nakedness. I am standing before a Father who welcomes me with arms wide open. I am standing before the Cross whose blood cleansed me. I am standing before a holy God, compassionate, gracious, merciful, and whose love is patient and everlasting."
You see, sometimes God has to allow a shipwrecked life to save a life. He is good at bringing someone at the end of self-sufficiency. Sometimes God has to turn off the lights so we can appreciate the fire in his campground. And when I succumbed to his light, I saw life as extraordinary. My mourning was turned into dancing. Winter has gone, springtime has come.
That was sweet torture and I am grateful that God let that happen. For if he did not, I would not have known and treasured him and the life he gave. If things were not, I would not be able to see that only he can make the difference. And to intrude, he did not, I would not be able to live this life I am living --- at its full measure.
For five years, I suffered a headache for the one question I cannot answer and there was never a night I did not cry to sleep. In my mind, I cursed my Maker and even made a declaration that he does not exist. Spent long hours in the net searching for the meaning of life, bought books that could somehow hand me an explanation, talked to strangers whom I thought could share the same sentiments, and even explored the possibility of finding the answer in the afterlife, so "What if I take my life?" Yes, I saw beautiful things surrounded me but I thought they were just lies. I felt I was in a banquet of lies. I used to believe that "beauty is an illusion". "Yes, they were good. But do they matter? I don't even know why they exist."
I masked my desperation with neglect. I faked my sadness with preoccupation. It was exhausting to chase the wind, you know.
No friend has ever heard this agony. But I was wrong.
From total darkness a thick voice had to speak, "Where are you?"
And things changed. It was as if I am brought into the open from an empty closet.
I responded with a question to myself, "Where am I?" --- an epiphany that turned my life upside down. Just when my world was about to crush, I realized that being lost is not that I do not know where I am heading; being lost is not knowing where I am standing.
"I am standing in a blind alley before the Creator of all things seen and unseen. I am standing before the Love I cursed but ran after me. I am standing before the Breath who gave me this life. I am standing before the Answer and the Truth. I am standing before a Knight who came for rescue to offer me a clothing for my nakedness. I am standing before a Father who welcomes me with arms wide open. I am standing before the Cross whose blood cleansed me. I am standing before a holy God, compassionate, gracious, merciful, and whose love is patient and everlasting."
You see, sometimes God has to allow a shipwrecked life to save a life. He is good at bringing someone at the end of self-sufficiency. Sometimes God has to turn off the lights so we can appreciate the fire in his campground. And when I succumbed to his light, I saw life as extraordinary. My mourning was turned into dancing. Winter has gone, springtime has come.
That was sweet torture and I am grateful that God let that happen. For if he did not, I would not have known and treasured him and the life he gave. If things were not, I would not be able to see that only he can make the difference. And to intrude, he did not, I would not be able to live this life I am living --- at its full measure.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Can I dance with you?
I dream of a day when I can dance with you
in your palace, in your court where your presence is never few...
Clothed with the radiance of your glory
the whole place shouts your majesty
dressed by your blood, unashamed I come to you
crowned with your love, fearless I stare at you
played is the sweet melody of your voice
and my heart dances with yours
in your strength my hands are held
we do waltz, with your grace I am led.
On that day, I know it will be forever
and my dream will no longer be a dream.
On that day, after I have patiently waited...
CAN I DANCE WITH YOU?
in your palace, in your court where your presence is never few...
Clothed with the radiance of your glory
the whole place shouts your majesty
dressed by your blood, unashamed I come to you
crowned with your love, fearless I stare at you
played is the sweet melody of your voice
and my heart dances with yours
in your strength my hands are held
we do waltz, with your grace I am led.
On that day, I know it will be forever
and my dream will no longer be a dream.
On that day, after I have patiently waited...
CAN I DANCE WITH YOU?
Still, Small Voice
(18Jan2012)
Your whisper is carried by the breeze of silence
Enduring even in voices of agitation
A riveting hymn of my fullness
Kindled by the streams of your presence
Do not drop, I beseech
Forbid not your speech, I plead
A thirsty soul do not forbear
Flood your twang, give no space for air
Breathe unto the frozen shadows of terror
To rip the strings of tears and melancholic bows
Hum your dancing notes
Let it ride in the waves
Reach for my yearning ears, the sweet music of your crest and troughs
Oh! How wonderful are the tales of your tongue
Each word thumps, my heart jumps
Sing to me your thoughts
Sing to me, sing to me
I am a captive of your symphony
A hunter of your cadence
Resound, resound
Seize each streak that my heart radiates.
Your whisper is carried by the breeze of silence
Enduring even in voices of agitation
A riveting hymn of my fullness
Kindled by the streams of your presence
Do not drop, I beseech
Forbid not your speech, I plead
A thirsty soul do not forbear
Flood your twang, give no space for air
Breathe unto the frozen shadows of terror
To rip the strings of tears and melancholic bows
Hum your dancing notes
Let it ride in the waves
Reach for my yearning ears, the sweet music of your crest and troughs
Oh! How wonderful are the tales of your tongue
Each word thumps, my heart jumps
Sing to me your thoughts
Sing to me, sing to me
I am a captive of your symphony
A hunter of your cadence
Resound, resound
Seize each streak that my heart radiates.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Night Sky
(Tribute to 23October2011 stargazing)
When I look at the night sky
I see your smile from up high
You speak to me of your love ---
Your boundless, outlandish love
When I look at the night sky
I hear you sing a lullaby
It makes me lie down in your peace
It makes me rest in your kiss
You romance me with the stars, the clouds,
the thunder and the mountain breeze
My Love, this hand is for you to seize
You caress me with the sound of the crickets
My Love, this heart is for you to keep
The constellations bring me solace
Oh, how great is your wisdom to have put them in place
Your fingers are majestic
You hold them together in heaven's lake
Stars fall down at your breath
Just as you have walked from heaven unto earth
To see such beauty in the veil of darkness
Begets bliss in my nothingness
You... are my delight
The mist of fears gone, you shine so bright
I stay to wait for the dawn to ascend
My God, your love I know will never end.
When I look at the night sky
I see your smile from up high
You speak to me of your love ---
Your boundless, outlandish love
When I look at the night sky
I hear you sing a lullaby
It makes me lie down in your peace
It makes me rest in your kiss
You romance me with the stars, the clouds,
the thunder and the mountain breeze
My Love, this hand is for you to seize
You caress me with the sound of the crickets
My Love, this heart is for you to keep
The constellations bring me solace
Oh, how great is your wisdom to have put them in place
Your fingers are majestic
You hold them together in heaven's lake
Stars fall down at your breath
Just as you have walked from heaven unto earth
To see such beauty in the veil of darkness
Begets bliss in my nothingness
You... are my delight
The mist of fears gone, you shine so bright
I stay to wait for the dawn to ascend
My God, your love I know will never end.
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